In the latter part of my life, I'm starting to see how God uses many, many ways to touch our hearts. He takes the very essence of hope, desires, talents, and gifts that he creates within us to touch our lives sometime. For as long as I can remember, I've loved music. I've never learned an instrument, I don't sing particulary well, but I have a very deep appreciation for rich composition, meaningful lyrics, harmony, melody and all those things that blend together to make music everything that it is. The Lord has taken that which I love, and used it to reach me and minister to my heart in ways I never imagined possible; and, I am filled with gratitude to know that my love of music can be used to praise and worship Him daily, and that it can be used to touch me in such a profound and significant way.
Recently, I found myself in a bible study group that I had never planned to be a part of. You see, I had signed up for one class that I really wanted to be in, but God lead me to another class that I really needed to be in. I walked into the "wrong" bible study class and I had sat down at a table with 5 others before I realized it. I felt strange and out of place because of that, and because I was going through a really difficult period of my life; a dark valley that seemed as if it would never end. How I hurt inside that night, and I'd just decided to join a class that I thought would help me to live my life as a better servant of God and maybe give me a little encouragement and relief here and there. Knowing it was the "wrong" class, I became a little apprehensive, panicking internally thinking, 'I've got to get out of here.' I'm in the wrong place, and this class, "How to be More than a Bible Study Girl," is not anything that can help me now.
Just as quickly though, my mind switched gears and I sat there pondering, "Lord, did you bring me here?" Well, I decided to stay since I was already there, and every woman that sat at my table seemed so content - and there was such a great peace there. We met once a week, and in the weeks to come, not only did I realize God had indeed "brought" me there, but that he also had wonderful blessings waiting right there for me to receive. Sometimes God has to position us just so, so that we can receive what He has for us - even if we don't necessarily desire to be there.
I met a woman there who loved music as much as I, and I realized we shared similar interests of some musical talents. Jeremy Camp, Nicole Nordeman, Mercy Me - vocalists/bands who were dedicated to worshipping God through the talent he's given them. Well, as we continued to bond and talk, she introduced me to a new group: Hillsong. The next time we met for class, she came with a dvd, and cds of the group, like an angel bearing gifts, so that I could take them home and listen to them. How generous, I thought, yet I had no idea what I was in store for. I had no idea the value of what had just been given to me. It was still a particularly difficult time for me in my life and she didn't know that, but God did, and he'd sent her to bring those just for me. What a friend we have in Jesus. You may wonder why I would think so, but I'm here to tell you I know so, because those songs changed and redirected my life.
As I opened the cd, and looked at the packaging, I noticed nothing exceptionally extraordinary. I put the cd in and I played a song and listened. It was worship music and it sounded angelic and it focused on the awesomeness of God. I listened to another and sang the lyrics with it, and before I knew it, I was sitting on the couch crying my heart out, worshipping - the music ministered to me and I could feel the presence of God so undeniably. It was exactly what I needed at that very moment in my life. Comfort, a renewing of His Spirit, His love and reassurance that He was still there, even while I was going through what seemed and felt unbearable. I didn't know where I needed to be, what I needed to hear, or feel, but God knew and He led me to a very special place with that music. Even today, when I listen to it, I enter into praise and worship and that especially intimate place with God, and it's a place of immense inner peace and exceeding joy that I never want to be apart from.
In God's sovereignty, He knows just what we need, when we need it, and how we need it. In His love, He's always willing with outstretched arms, to bring us back in and lead us and guide us to a place deep in our spirits, where we connect with His; and His love can be felt; and we can be assured of the mercy and grace He continuously extends.
May the comfort and joy of God's love forever rest in your hearts,
Chana
