God is Abel

 Recently, I volunteered at my church with a few other people at our annual “Christmas Operation,” table. It’s always fun, often a great time to share God’s movement in our lives and the holidays – any and every thing.  I happened to be speaking to a lady and found that she worked in the public school system, as I once had.

            As we talked, she told me of all the many ministries she was involved in and all she did as a member of the church. I thought it was awesome, to be such a devoted servant and so willing to give of her time. As we continued speaking, I revealed to her that I had also worked in the public school system, with special needs students.  She hastily responded, “I could NEVER work with those children,” and, “it’s just a waste of time, it’s just daycare - they’ll never do anything on their own.”   I have to be honest and say her remarks stung my heart. When I worked with special needs students, I had loved them as my own.  I was a little taken aback that I was speaking to my Christian sister who nearly lived in church – the building – and yet lacked compassion for those I considered Christ had spoken of  [in part] when he said, “the least of these.”  Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.  (Matthew 25:31-46)

            Later that day, I thought more and more about one special needs student I had worked with for a few days last year.  He was of small stature, maybe 4 or 5; frail-bodied, with straight, jet black hair that framed his sweet, sweet face. A face I will never forget. His name was Abel.

            Abel couldn’t speak, but smiled often. He made slight inarticulate sounds every now and then, and held a very gentle and meek disposition.  I stayed near to him. He was so peaceful, so precious – they all were – but Abel just gripped my heart, and it became my goal to delight his.

            I worked by his side. Helping him to eat, using the educational toys to play with him, talking to him – basking really, in his presence.  I remember him so clearly: body wilted, like a Raggedy Ann doll, his eyes smiling into mine; peace and innocence draped over him. He stole my heart that day.  Our class went outside for recess and I lifted him out of his little wheelchair to hold him. He was as light as a feather.  I spun him around as the sun shined down on his face.  He smiled first, and as we continued in our spinning embrace, he laughed and it was as if time stopped, and an endless wave of love and joy and peace surrounded us.

Upon returning to the classroom,  the other assistant filled out paperwork with Abel’s name.  I was standing right near while she did, and when she wrote his name, she spelled it, A –B –L-E.  In the physical realm it seemed incorrect; but it struck a chord in my spirit, immediately. I felt that God was speaking to me. God is able – through this little disfigured boy – God is Abel. The words pressed upon my spirit and I knew, that being with Abel, I had sat in the very presence of God that day.  Little Abel, even in his state, was a vessel of God’s perfection.

            I know that Abel may never do anything significant in the eyes of men – lawyer, doctor, etc. but when I am placed in the presence of these special ones, I can talk to them, I can pray over them, I can offer them the sweet gift of love. If they come each day for only that, it is worth it every time. Biblically, in the Kingdom, Abel who is the least, will be great. Luke 9:48 And [Christ] said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great..

            As for my sweet sister-in-Christ, I will be praying for her – for us. I will pray for us to be humble servants in this Kingdom that God so lovingly invites us into. I’ll pray that we will be readily available, with willing hearts, seeing eyes, discerning spirits realizing that in the least of these, we will find God’s presence hovering protectively. God is able. God is Abel...

Let's go before the throne of grace.

 Heavenly Father, fill our hearts with your humility. Let us see like your eyes see in the lowliest of faces, and in the lowliest of places; let our hearts reach like your heart reaches for your children and the lost, and empower our spirits to love unaffectedly, like yours.  Father, we know the miraculous, incomparable work you do through willing, unassuming hearts.  Lead us there Lord, to that place in You, that we may be usable for your Kingdom.  We love you, and we thank you for heavenly encounters where you reveal your divine presence to us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Cry of the Broken  - “to every outcast, a friend and comforter…”

Kneading My Heart

            The Encarta dictionary defines knead as such:  to fold, press, and stretch a soft substance such as dough or clay, working it into a smooth, uniform mass. I often think about how God has changed my heart just so - bending it, pressing it, and stretching it further than I ever thought it might go; kneading it and continuing faithfully to work out all the unmistakable kinks – the harshness, the rough edges and renewing my mind and spirit in the process - redesigning me into a usable workmanship for His purpose.

 I realize now more than ever, my relationship with the Lord is so much about the heart - and dealing with my heart, He's had His work cut out for Him. : ) Jesus speaks about the heart in Matthew 6:21 saying, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."  My treasure was once riches, fame, stardom. My treasure was some of Christ and a whole lot of other things.  But as He continues to walk with me,  to stand by my side, to love me unconditionally, never leaving me or forsaking me, pouring out His love and mercy - my treasure has easily become, my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.  As I take notice of God’s faithfulness over and over again, I find myself renewed in my heart - kind of like the Grinch at Christmas - it's grown at least 3 sizes! I find myself renewed in my mind and I feel as though He’s been at work all of my life,  handling my heart with so much care. He's been molding and kneading it ever so gently, with such patience - more and more, as I respond to the voice of  His loving call. As I go forth in spite of this life’s trials, and in gratitude of this life’s victories,  I’m learning to consistently pray and talk to the Lord, every single step, and I’m suddenly aware that my prayer life is changing; growing – which means my heart is too.

            I’ve always prayed, praying in faith for all my personal wants and needs. But I feel a shift lately in life.  Though I still pray for my needs and heartfelt desires, my desires have become more about wanting more of  Jesus, and the Kingdom of God and less of me. I pray for others more fervently, those who are hurting so deeply.  I pray to be a vessel for His love, for him to use me and move me. I pray about desiring His glorious purpose for my life, about spending time with Him, talking to Him, walking with Him, communing with Him.  My desire is changing from my own self-filled will, to His awesome one, and for His grace, and to do things His way. He has been kneading my heart – changing my innermost thoughts and desires. I see things differently, not as quick to become disheartened, frustrated, or fearful – but ever hungering for His Word and His loving presence. It’s as if God has taken my heart captive, and I pray that He never lets it go. 

            I can only give God glory and praise for all the exciting things he’s doing and His faithfulness in my life. He loves us all so much and it is often in that sweet, tender place of surrender where we will find Him reworking our wants, our needs, our desires – kneading our very own hearts to be shaped and molded for our good and for His eternal glory.

          I pray God's purposes will become your heart's desire as you continue in submission to Him and lose yourself in the very depths of His abundant and eternal love. 

God bless,

Chana 

Psalm 105:3Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.  

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, Hillsong United

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

http://youtu.be/Jo7-C3NQSp4 

God's Faithfulness in Loss

Mama  and my son

I have been absent from here for awhile, I know. In early March, my sweet mom went to be with our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.  How I miss the very essence that was her sweetness, her unconditional love, her voice booming with the sounds of constant praise and worship to our Lord.  She was such a beautiful, vivacious spirit and how often, I long for her presence. She left us with an arsenal full of hilarious memories (she was the funniest woman alive), and all the love any person could ever imagine another human being could ever give.

Mom had been sick for a while, and while I knew her physical body was struggling, greatly, I still wasn’t prepared for her early, earthly death.  It’s a difficult thing to spend your life loving someone, and then suddenly being without them.

In the midst of that, I struggled for a good while. I couldn’t quite come to terms of my existence without her.  I felt cold inside, I felt alone, I felt as if I couldn’t feel the heart of myself… numb. Externally, I coped, distracting myself with anything and everything, but internally I felt so disconnected from everything - even from God.

I remember wanting to pray. Needing to pray, but being unable to. And though I’m often full of words – no words could quite describe what I was feeling. No articulation could form from my mouth, about how desperately I ached in losing her, about how empty losing her had left me.

For weeks that turned into months, I couldn’t pray.  I thought outwardly to the Lord and about the Lord, but I was so disconnected. I didn’t blame Him, I just couldn’t speak anything. There were no words that could express the depths of all that was bound up in my heart.  Often in my feeble attempt, I would get on my knees and just lay in the dark crying, babbling words that couldn't translate, words that fell short of what I needed to say, and it left me feeling helpless and inert, and disabled in a way. Looking back, I know the Holy Spirit, interceded on my behalf – because outside of that being part of what He does, God was still carrying me, when I was unable to carry myself.

Finally, sometime in June, I came to the Lord. On my knees words began flowing out. I spoke my heart, and like a waterfall, everything came pouring out that had been bundled up for months.  He gave me, “beauty for my ashes.”  Isaiah 61:3 says, To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.  

He replenished and renewed my heart with new desires, new hope, new songs to praise Him. In the depths of my brokenness God watered my soul, renewing my faith, and restoring my devastated heart.  How great is thy faithfulness, oh God. I still hurt thinking of my sweet mom, but the Comforter reassures me often, that God loves me, He will never leave or forsake me, and that Mama is whole and healed partaking in the heavens with our Lord Jesus Christ!

Sometimes, we don't know how or why things happen the way they do. There's no rhyme or reason from our earthly perspective of the sequence and unfolding of things. What we can be certain of though, what we can rely on and depend on every time, is the great faithfulness of our God! In times of trouble, and in times of loss, He is faithful and will ALWAYS come to our rescue.

God Bless you!

Chana

When God Touches Your Heart

In the latter part of my life, I'm starting to see how God uses many, many ways to touch our hearts. He takes the very essence of hope, desires, talents, and gifts that he creates within us to touch our lives sometime. For as long as I can remember, I've loved music. I've never learned an instrument, I don't sing particulary well, but I have a very deep appreciation for rich composition, meaningful lyrics, harmony, melody and all those things that blend together to make music everything that it is. The Lord has taken that which I love, and used it to reach me and minister to my heart in ways I never imagined possible; and, I am filled with gratitude to know that my love of music can be used to praise and worship Him daily, and that it can be used to touch me in such a profound and significant way.

 Recently, I found myself in a bible study group that I had never planned to be a part of. You see, I had signed up for one class that I really wanted to be in, but God lead me to another class that I really needed  to be in. I walked into the "wrong" bible study class and I had sat down at a table with 5 others before I realized it. I felt strange and out of place because of that, and because I was going through a really difficult period of my life; a dark valley that seemed as if it would never end. How I hurt inside that night, and I'd just decided to join a class that I thought would help me to live my life as a better servant of God and maybe give me a little encouragement  and relief here and there. Knowing it was the "wrong" class, I became a little apprehensive, panicking internally thinking, 'I've got to get out of here.'  I'm in the wrong place, and this class, "How to be More than a Bible Study Girl," is not anything that can help me now.


Just as quickly though, my mind switched gears and I sat there pondering, "Lord, did you bring me here?"  Well, I decided to stay since I was already there, and every woman that sat at my table seemed so content - and there was such a great peace there. We met once a week, and in the weeks to come, not only did I realize God had indeed "brought" me there, but that he also had wonderful blessings waiting right there for me to receive.  Sometimes God has to position us just so, so that we can receive what He has for us - even if we don't necessarily desire to be there.



I met a woman there who loved music as much as I, and I realized we shared similar interests of some musical talents. Jeremy Camp, Nicole Nordeman, Mercy Me - vocalists/bands who were dedicated to worshipping God through the talent he's given them. Well, as we continued to bond and talk, she introduced me to a new group: Hillsong. The next time we met for class, she came with a dvd, and cds of the group, like an angel bearing gifts, so that I could take them home and listen to them. How generous, I thought, yet I had no idea what I was in store for. I had no idea the value of what had just been given to me. It was still a particularly difficult time for me in my life and she didn't know that, but God did, and he'd sent her to bring those just for me. What a friend we have in Jesus. You may wonder why I would think so, but I'm here to tell you I know so, because those songs changed and redirected my life.
As I opened the cd, and looked at the packaging, I noticed nothing exceptionally extraordinary. I put the cd in and I played a song and listened. It was worship music and it sounded angelic and it focused on the awesomeness of God. I listened to another and sang the lyrics with it, and before I knew it, I was sitting on the couch crying my heart out, worshipping - the music ministered to me and I could feel the presence of God so undeniably. It was exactly what I needed at that very moment in my life. Comfort, a renewing of His Spirit, His love and reassurance that He was still there, even while I was going through what seemed and felt unbearable. I didn't know where I needed to be, what I needed to hear, or feel, but God knew and He led me to a very special place with that music. Even today, when I listen to it, I enter into praise and worship and that especially intimate place with God, and it's a place of immense inner peace and exceeding joy that I never want to be apart from.



In God's sovereignty, He knows just what we need, when we need it, and how we need it. In His love, He's always willing with outstretched arms, to bring us back in and lead us and guide us to a place deep in our spirits, where we connect with His; and His love can be felt; and we can be assured of the mercy and grace He continuously extends.


May the comfort and joy of God's love forever rest in your hearts,





Chana

Surrending to God's Will

A woman said this about surrendering to God: " it's wonderful and it feels so good to surrender to the Lord, but I also have to 'keep it real. Being thirty-years old and unmarried and wanting and needing things, I just have to be real." And I thought, hmmm. Yes, we do want and need so many things. Sure - that's true. But how many of us with those desires clenched in our hands and in our hearts are willing to surrender even those? Is it asking too much for us to open our hands - releasing - almost dropping - every deeply personal need and desire unto Him? Him who cares for us with a love that surpasses our very ability to comprehend or understand? When we look at Abraham what kind of faith do we see? A believer, just like you and I, who was asked to sacrifice his very own son. A man, who wholeheartedly believed God and without hesitation, was ready and willing to surrender the very son that God had promised him He would establish his convenant through (Gen 17:19-21). Even when we have hopes, and dreams, and things we want - we must surrender ALL and, "Trust in Him with ALL {your} our hearts and lean not unto {your} our own understanding.(Proverbs 3:5)" Just as Abraham did. Abraham did not question God's demand of him - even when it seemed beyond all comprehension. And the question I have to ask you, is did God abandon Abraham? Did He let him down? Did he not come - speedily - to save and give back all that was dear to Abraham?

I desire to be where Abraham was - in my heart. In a place where I can let go of all that might seem good, and right, and fair, and what belongs to me or what I might think I deserve. Everything that means anything to me.

Will you trust Him today?

The beauty, love, and faithfulness of God is that He truly, truly loves us. He loves me, He loves you and He knows our human hearts better than we ever could. I believe that once you enter into that special place - that place of complete surrender, God is waiting to take those small dreams and desires you've been clenching onto and magnify them only to bless you with more than you could ever have imagined and in doing so, we give Him the glory.

The only thing He ever wants us to "clench" onto is the salvation of His son Jesus Christ, and His Word. All else is secondary. ALL ELSE IS SECONDARY. He says that we are to, "Seek (ye) FIRST the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto us. Not seeking on Sunday, or only at the time we really feel we need Him, but always. Always praying, always expanding His Kingdom, seeking His face, doing things to bring Him honor and glory. When we do this, I believe we become submitted, we surrender and in doing so, allow the light and love of Jesus Christ to shine through our hearts, our actions, and our voices to be a constant and continuous witness for Him and the love He's given us - the only love that will save the souls of mankind. Thus, we cannot say, "I love God but..." or I surrender, but.." There are no buts with God. No middle ground, no shades of gray... He deals in absolutes; we must learn to when it comes to Him.

There's a verse in a song that I found that touched me and really captured the essence of surrender by Chris Sligh, called, "Empty Me."

Empty me of the selfishness inside

Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride

And any foolish thing my heart holds to

Lord empty me of me so I can be, filled with you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing,

compared to you, compared to you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing,

compared to you. So I surrender all...

Wow.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Search our hearts, oh Lord. Reveal strongholds and anything that we may unknowingly esteem higher than You. Help us to surrender ALL unto You, and to recognize that every desire, every need, that "everything is a lesser thing, compared to You." Thank You for your love that is as vast as the sky and limitless beyond measure. May the body of Christ find it's peace and strength in You; in Christ's name we pray, Amen.

Making Wise Decisions: Even When They May Cost You Everything

Just a few days ago, I realized it was the final day for me to sign up for health benefits on my new job. So I called [human resources office] to let them know I was going to do so. While I was speaking to the benefits coordinator, she told me that would be fine, but because I had waited so late in the month, a double charge (for my benefits) would be deducted from my next paycheck, and that I needed to drive there - that very day ( almost an hour away from me) to take care of everything.
I’m a teaching assistant; my pay is less than humble – but I enjoy the work. My benefits for my son and I, will cost me almost a third of my paycheck per month. So, you can imagine that when I heard that "double-charge" comment, I became very, very distressed.

I mentally refused, debated, maneuvered, then contemplated - trying to find a way out of what seemed to be a nightmare. With so much money at stake, I began to fret about how - if I paid it - I could take care of all my responsibilities (food, rent, etc) for my small family of two. Thoughts of impossibilities loomed and I couldn't fathom how I could make it work. I seriously considered  just skipping out on the insurance - my rationale being: I simply can't afford it. For me, that would have been fine; but what about my son? What about the asthma attacks, the eczema, the fact that  he was a young boy child and could injure himself at any time?

Somewhere my faith was being slowly drowned out by my anxiety; and my blessing - my son  - lay there ( next to me in the car)  sleeping in silence, and the safety that he trusted I would provide him, and I knew exactly what I had to do. My decision became as clear as the tears trickled down my face; and I knew that for him I would pay any cost, on any given day. Things might be tight, but I decided to trust and believe that God would provide. How I had ever questioned it is now beyond me. We must always do our very best to make decisions based on love and not fear. But even as I made the decision, fear rose up and filled my heart. I still had no idea how anything would work out; this became apure act of faith. Complete faith in God's - and not my own - ability to provide. Jehovah Jireh - God our provider. I sobbed and cried to the Lord in my heart:
I said to Him: "I’m so tired of this. I make nothing already; I don't know what to do." And the Holy Spirit said simply, "Be wise."
"But," I continued, "how? How Lord?” and He responded in my heart with a passage I had recently read:

Gen 15:1 - Fear not, [Abram]: I am thy shield, thy exceeding great reward. I will supply your needs (Philippians 4:19); and then, “I will take care of you.”
He is our exceeding great reward. His voice floated clearly through my ears; settling my spirit immediately. And just as quickly as the fear had risen, and the tears had fallen, the love and peace of God’s word washed them all away. And at once, there was an indescribable calm in my heart.

Praise to the King of Glory...

Later that evening after I had finished, I took my son to a fall festival at our church. As we were parking – a friend of mine that I’d confided in about this responded to the situation with, “Oh, I’ll pay that for you – no problem!” Huh? She spoke it as if I had been talking about 25 cents - and it was several hundred dollars! I was stunned beyond belief.  Needless to say, I was greatly humbled by God's swift movement on the hearts of men and how he had once again shown me the very depth of His love.

The immeasurable love of Jesus Christ is exceedingly able to, ‘make all grace abound toward you’ (2 Corinthians 2:8). I believe this means that He will make ALL ‘things come together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose’ (Romans 8:28) - that He will make all things work in our favor.

Our God is an awesome God and his love is unfailing!!!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help us to make wise decisions, even when it seems that they may cost us everything. Help us to trust Your Word and Lord, plant it deep within our hearts. Shed Your loving grace upon us, and continuously prepare our hearts and minds to follow the lead of Your precious Holy Spirit. Anoint our ears that we may hear, listen and know Your voice. How we love you and long for Your Holy presence, Lord God and it is in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ we ask and pray, Amen.

Peace and love to you and yours,
Chana

Here our a few beautifully written songs (all on youtube) about God's ever-encompassing love and power to lift your spirits:

"Mighty To Save"- Laura Story

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYqogpLpC5Q

"I AM" - Nicole Nordeman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieVIW_NQoH0

"Light of the World" - Watermark

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U-3Sh7QNdk

"Empty Me" - Jeremy Camp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg2kCAiB1Kw

Intercession

     Do you know people in your life that you care for deeply that may not be on the right track with God? Someone who may not know God? Maybe you know someone who was once fervent and passionate for Jesus Christ, but somewhere down the road lost or waned in faith?


     I love people and I often pray for those I love; and there are some that I know, which have lost their way. If you know anyone like this, let's pray for them; let's intercede on their behalf because I believe in the deep love and in the deep mercies and grace of the Almighty God.
Below is a commentary (from God's Daily Promises website) about praying for others; interceding on someone else's behalf.


Chana

Does God hear our prayers for mercy on behalf of others?
Abraham approached him and said, "Will you destroy both innocent and guilty alike? Suppose you find fifty innocent people there within the city—will you still destroy it, and not spare it for their sakes? Surely you wouldn't do such a thing, destroying the innocent with the guilty. Why, you would be treating the innocent and the guilty exactly the same! Surely you wouldn't do that! Should not the Judge of all the earth do what is right?" [The Lord responds that he will not destroy the city. Abraham persists, reducing the number to 45, then 40, 30, 20 and finally ten]. And the Lord said, "Then, for the sake of the ten, I will not destroy it."
Genesis 18:23-31 NLT

Abraham's Prayer for Mercy

In the days before their fiery judgment, the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah probably had no idea that their neighbor Abraham was agonizing with God over their fate. Abraham saw the need for justice, but he also begged God to show them his mercy. He asked God to spare the city for just a handful of righteous people, and God agreed. In addition, God sent his angels to protect Lo t's innocent family and get them out of harm's way. But as Sodom and Gomorrah's destruction illustrates, there's a limit to his mercy, for the God of justice will not let sin go unpunished forever. Just as he listened to righteous Abraham long ago, God will listen to your cries for justice and your pleas for mercy. In the end, God will do what is right.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16)