Just a few days ago, I realized it was the final day for me to sign up for health benefits on my new job. So I called [human resources office] to let them know I was going to do so. While I was speaking to the benefits coordinator, she told me that would be fine, but because I had waited so late in the month, a double charge (for my benefits) would be deducted from my next paycheck, and that I needed to drive there - that very day ( almost an hour away from me) to take care of everything.
I’m a teaching assistant; my pay is less than humble – but I enjoy the work. My benefits for my son and I, will cost me almost a third of my paycheck per month. So, you can imagine that when I heard that "double-charge" comment, I became very, very distressed.
I mentally refused, debated, maneuvered, then contemplated - trying to find a way out of what seemed to be a nightmare. With so much money at stake, I began to fret about how - if I paid it - I could take care of all my responsibilities (food, rent, etc) for my small family of two. Thoughts of impossibilities loomed and I couldn't fathom how I could make it work. I seriously considered just skipping out on the insurance - my rationale being: I simply can't afford it. For me, that would have been fine; but what about my son? What about the asthma attacks, the eczema, the fact that he was a young boy child and could injure himself at any time?
Somewhere my faith was being slowly drowned out by my anxiety; and my blessing - my son - lay there ( next to me in the car) sleeping in silence, and the safety that he trusted I would provide him, and I knew exactly what I had to do. My decision became as clear as the tears trickled down my face; and I knew that for him I would pay any cost, on any given day. Things might be tight, but I decided to trust and believe that God would provide. How I had ever questioned it is now beyond me. We must always do our very best to make decisions based on love and not fear. But even as I made the decision, fear rose up and filled my heart. I still had no idea how anything would work out; this became apure act of faith. Complete faith in God's - and not my own - ability to provide. Jehovah Jireh - God our provider. I sobbed and cried to the Lord in my heart:
I said to Him: "I’m so tired of this. I make nothing already; I don't know what to do." And the Holy Spirit said simply, "Be wise."
"But," I continued, "how? How Lord?” and He responded in my heart with a passage I had recently read:
I said to Him: "I’m so tired of this. I make nothing already; I don't know what to do." And the Holy Spirit said simply, "Be wise."
"But," I continued, "how? How Lord?” and He responded in my heart with a passage I had recently read:
Gen 15:1 - Fear not, [Abram]: I am thy shield, thy exceeding great reward. I will supply your needs (Philippians 4:19); and then, “I will take care of you.”
He is our exceeding great reward. His voice floated clearly through my ears; settling my spirit immediately. And just as quickly as the fear had risen, and the tears had fallen, the love and peace of God’s word washed them all away. And at once, there was an indescribable calm in my heart.
He is our exceeding great reward. His voice floated clearly through my ears; settling my spirit immediately. And just as quickly as the fear had risen, and the tears had fallen, the love and peace of God’s word washed them all away. And at once, there was an indescribable calm in my heart.
Praise to the King of Glory...
Later that evening after I had finished, I took my son to a fall festival at our church. As we were parking – a friend of mine that I’d confided in about this responded to the situation with, “Oh, I’ll pay that for you – no problem!” Huh? She spoke it as if I had been talking about 25 cents - and it was several hundred dollars! I was stunned beyond belief. Needless to say, I was greatly humbled by God's swift movement on the hearts of men and how he had once again shown me the very depth of His love.
The immeasurable love of Jesus Christ is exceedingly able to, ‘make all grace abound toward you’ (2 Corinthians 2:8). I believe this means that He will make ALL ‘things come together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose’ (Romans 8:28) - that He will make all things work in our favor.
Our God is an awesome God and his love is unfailing!!!
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help us to make wise decisions, even when it seems that they may cost us everything. Help us to trust Your Word and Lord, plant it deep within our hearts. Shed Your loving grace upon us, and continuously prepare our hearts and minds to follow the lead of Your precious Holy Spirit. Anoint our ears that we may hear, listen and know Your voice. How we love you and long for Your Holy presence, Lord God and it is in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ we ask and pray, Amen.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Chana
Help us to make wise decisions, even when it seems that they may cost us everything. Help us to trust Your Word and Lord, plant it deep within our hearts. Shed Your loving grace upon us, and continuously prepare our hearts and minds to follow the lead of Your precious Holy Spirit. Anoint our ears that we may hear, listen and know Your voice. How we love you and long for Your Holy presence, Lord God and it is in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ we ask and pray, Amen.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Chana
Here our a few beautifully written songs (all on youtube) about God's ever-encompassing love and power to lift your spirits:
"Mighty To Save"- Laura Story
"I AM" - Nicole Nordeman
"Light of the World" - Watermark
"Empty Me" - Jeremy Camp
3 comments:
Ma-n-n-n you keep coming up with these testamonies, real-life experiences of faith ,love ,hope and perservance. Believe me when I say that God is pleased with you. Not because of what you did but because of who you are in CHRIST. HEY! I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU WHEN I GROW UP.
Ha! Thank you so much! You know you've always been an inspiration for me in my faith walk and God himself is so incredibly faithful. I appreciate the platform just to express my faith and hopefully encourage other's faith in my sharing.
This is a very strong testimony. I agree, God wants us to do our best for Him, and as long as we pray for strength, courage and wisdom, our Faith will carry us through the storm.
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